Messing with Macca
by TheLef318
Summary: Paul's fallen for yet another girl, and George and John don't trust her one bit. Failing to convince Paul to leave her, they end up having to sabotage their date. Unfortunately, they get more than they ask for . . . Rated T for swearing and minor adult themes. One-shot.


**So, hi everybody! This is a quite long one-shot, so unless you can take the heat, you don't have to read all of this at once. I hope you enjoy it!**

ACT ONE: THE GIRL

It was just another one of those days for them, a day where you performed, got pissed, kissed a bird and got pissed again. You know, the usual stuff.

Yep, it was definitely one of those days for the three lads.

This was how they lived. You were just nobodies trying to make a living for yourselves, giving and getting entertainment wherever you could get in.

Lennon, McCartney and Harrison were some of those nobodies.

They were at the Cavern yet again, playing whatever was requested while ignoring all the fights happening with their audience (What could you do? You were a performer, not a bouncer).

"And this one's called, 'Roll Over Beethoven'". The nineteen-year-old George kickstarted the song and enjoyed himself with his riffs and lead singing.

John and Pete were having a blast as well, probably more from all those birds trying to give 'em even just a peck on the cheek.

Paul however, with his somewhat simple bassline, had his mind on something – or someone – else.

Who was it? A girl of course. He was Paul McCartney. What else did you expect?

Still keeping his rocker face on, he took a quick glance at her once in a while, and hell, was she pretty, her blonde hair tied neatly into a bun.

For the whole set she was getting down on the floor, and John and George eventually started eyeing Paul suspiciously. George danced his way to the other side of the stage to John during "I Saw Her Standing There", where they could easily speak to each other.

"Ey, you notice something with Paulie?" George whispered to John.

"Yeah, acting a bit – _how could I dance with another, oh, since I saw her standing there – _strange today, isn't he?" John's reply split by his singing the backup vocals.

"Tell you what. After the gig, we see what he's been lookin' at. It won't be hard to figure out." Knowing Paul well, George knew he would go for anything he was interested in. "Pete will just be wandering off on his own again, anyway."

Good thing that that was their last number, and Paul immediately hopped off the stage to the girl.

"Oh, _of course_." John whispered under his breath to George. "Well, I don't think there's anything to worry about. It's just the usual. He gets a girl, has her for a night, then says goodbye, and on and on and on." Satisfied with his conclusion, John walked off, leaving George on his own watching his friend flirt.

George wasn't one to settle for a conclusion easily, no matter what it was. Being the good, sneaky boy he was, he discreetly walked up next to Paul, as if he was just tagging along. But of course, he was trying to eavesdrop on their conversation.

"So, how about a date this Saturday? Oh, hey Georgie!" Paul put his arm around him. "Y'know this guy, he's the lead guitarist of the group, and the little brother." Paul ruffled George's hair and he rolled his eyes in return. Paul got cocky when he was flirting with girls, and everyone thought it was annoying. John was cocky too, but it was the kind that made him respected, not dishonored. As for Pete well, they _did_ call him the handsome Beatle after all . . .

"George, this is Maggie. Maggie, George." Paul introduced the two and George turned to his polite self, smiling and shaking her hand.

"Hi George! Well, Paul's been a real gentleman to me lately," She blushed at him. "And he's taking me out on a date this weekend!"

"Oh. That's . . . nice." George dryly replied, still maintaining his fake smile.

_A date!? You've known each other for two minutes and you're going out on a bloody date!?_

Maggie wrote scribbled something down on a piece of paper and handed it to Paul. Here's my address. Pick me up at seven." She kissed Paul full on the lips and walked away.

"*cough* slut . . ."

"What was that, Georgie?" Paul looked at his friend, completely oblivious to what he had just called his new fiancé.

"Oh, I said she was very pretty and right for you."

Pretty my ass.

George didn't like her. He didn't like her at all. He could read faces really clearly, and with the look on Maggie's face, the way she pursed her lips, scrunched her eyebrows, kissed Paul, George could tell it was all a show.

But still, it was completely unfair that Paul got more birds than him. He tried to be polite as possible, even offering to do stuff for the girl. Then at the end of the night, she would just ditch him and leave him all alone.

But when they meet a cocky, complete douche of a guy, they actually _stay with him?_

Really, if girls these days were like this, George couldn't even imagine fifty years from now.

Shrugging off the hopeless romantic attitude, George went with Paul back to John and Pete who were packing their instruments making their way for the next band.

George went off to John and led him away from the group.

"Oi," He whispered. "I don't trust that girl Paul's met. She doesn't look one bit trustworthy."

John ignored George's concern for their friend. "Yeah, yeah. If she ends up cheating on him, then let the lad learn himself." John started for the exit when George jumped in front of him.

"John, he's our friend! We can't just leave him with someone we know will break his heart!"

"Well, you didn't help comfort me when I broke up with Marie!"

"I was _fourteen!_ Hell, I didn't even know what 'wanking off' meant!"

John thought for a moment, and then spoke. "Fine. Let's help the poor bastard. And _how_, exactly will we do that?

George looked at him blankly for a moment, and realized John was right. _How the hell could we find out if Maggie really was a phony?_

Then, just looking at John, thinking about his cocky manner, he sprouted up an idea.

"Stay in my house for tonight. I'll tell you over there." George gave one final whisper to John as the four of them left the noise of the club and went on the next lorry, on their way to their respected homes.

All except John, of course, who was going to find out this crazy plan of his friend's.

….

ACT TWO: THE PICK

"You're kidding me."

"Nope."

"You have to be!"

"Er, no."

"Just a tiny bit?"

"Nada."

This was ridiculous.

Apparently, as they both lay down on George's bed big enough for them, the plan was for John, as cocky as he was, to meet Maggie again in the Cavern and "flirt", to see the real her.

This of course, would all be staged. John and George were just testing her. If she really did love Paul, then it was all good. But if she was the gold-digger she looked like, then their next part of the plan would be put into action.

"According to Paul, she told him she went there every night. We don't have a gig today, so that's fine. Today's Thursday. The date's on Saturday, so we have the whole day tomorrow to get prepared, should we have to."

Later that night, John and George were ready and went to the Cavern.

The two of them walked in and let the thumping of the music and the scents of alcohol consume them. Then there, right in the middle of the crowd, was their target.

"There she is! Now all you've got to do is walk up to her,' George said.

"Let me handle it, "John smirked as he walked towards her.

Everything seemed to be going fine inside. George was just hanging out by the doorway, waiting until John was done, when he saw the last person he wanted to see right then.

"No Pete, I don't know where John and George are. They said they were just going to stay at George's house all day." Paul said as he and Pete stepped down the lorry. "I wonder where they _really _went . . ."

_Shit,_ George thought. Paul was already walking in his direction while Pete went to his house which wasn't very far, but couldn't see his face due to the dim streetlights.

Having no other choice, George just had to improvise and pretended to bump into Paul.

"Oh, I'm sorry sir – oh hey Macca!" George grinned. Paul looked at him with a straight face.

"George, I thought you and John were staying at you're place today."

"Oh! Well, y'see," George scratched the back of his head. "John remembered that he forgot something in the club . . . and he went to go and get it. Yeah, that's all."

Paul still didn't buy any of it. ". . . and what _exactly _did him forget, George?"

"A . . . a guitar pick! He's in there lookin' for it right now. He'll be back soon."

_Hopefully,_ George thought. All he wanted was for John to save him in the situation he was in now.

"Just let me go in George. Paul walked past George and headed for the door.

"Paul, wait!"

As if on cue, John busted out of the Cavern.

"I did it George! I – oh." John ended his victory chant as soon as he saw Paul staring at him.

"So, you find your pick, Johnny?" Paul teasingly asked John, to test if it was true.

George quickly winked at John, and he got the message.

With no pick with him at the moment, John shook his head, "Nope. Somebody probably got it the night before. But not to worry, I have plenty more of those."

Paul looked at him for a while, and then shrugged. "Whatever. C'mon, let's go home." Paul walked away, muttering something under his breath.

John and George looked at each other, and smiled.

"Now, my friend, let's sabotage that date!"

….

FINAL ACT: THE DATE

They were ready.

The date was in a French restaurant which none of the gang could pronounce. It was high-class, and very, _very_, formal. John and George, luckily, secretly booked a gig without Paul, under the name the Lonely Hearts, which, in fact, was part of the name of an imaginary band Paul always dreamed of. He would go on and on talking about submarines and "blue meanies" until John and George told him to shut up.

Pete had been sick since the other day, so John and George had to resort to their next option as a drummer.

Who was that?

None other than Ringo Starr of Rory Storm and the Hurricanes, of course.

"Ick, formal settings. They make me head go round." John moaned as they set the equipment on the stage. Paul and Maggie would be arriving in half an hour.

It would be just the three of them though, no bassist. (Well, that would make Paul feel guilty).

The set list was just three songs, and the grand finale, John and George thought, would _really _get Paul and Maggie thumping.

Hell, they'd be thumping so hard they'll fume and turn red. Perfect!

As soon as all the equipment was ready, they went back backstage.

As soon as they saw Paul and Maggie walk in, John gave the cue for the announcer.

"I'd like to welcome everyone tonight. Here now we have some lads performing. Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce to you, the Lonely Hearts, with guest drummer Ringo Starr of Rory Storm and the Hurricanes!"

The people at the tables clapped. And as soon as John walked on stage, Paul and Maggie's jaws dropped open.

"J=john?" Maggie said.

"You _know _him?!" Paul asked.

"Well, um, I just met him the other day . . ."

"'Ello everybody, we'd like to start the night with a number called, 'Chains'."

Paul and Maggie weren't clapping along like everyone else. They just sat there, staring at the band.

_What the fuck are they doing here?_ Paul thought.

Chains then ended, being followed by Matchbox, which Ringo sang.

_What does Starr have to do with this, anyway?_ Paul watched the drummer sing and bang on his drumset.

Eventually the boys hit the last beats on their instruments and the show was nearly over.

"For our last song, we'd like to invite everyone to sing if you know the words. Well, who wouldn't? It's the anthem of Liverpool!" Everyone laughed when John quipped his joke. "Oh, and also, this song is dedicated to a special person right over there."

George gave a signal to somebody backstage and suddenly, a giant spotlight shone right on Maggie. Everyone turned to them and clapped.

Annoyed and about to flip out, Paul wanted to drag his shocked girl away from the two fools he called _friends_. But with all the people huddled around them, they were trapped until it blew over.

"Yeh' ready?" John strummed the intro on his guitar.

_Oh dirty Maggie Mae they have taken her away__  
And she never walk down Lime Street any more__  
Oh the judge he guilty found her_

_For robbing a homeward bounder__  
that dirty no good robbin' Maggie Mae_

The rest of the song was instrumental. Some people sang if they knew the rest of the lyrics, some people made up their own.

Paul glared at John, George and Ringo, who all smirked at him. George mouthed to Paul, _Wait and see_.

"'Ey, I know yeh! You're that 'ol Maggie from the Cavern!" Someone yelled. "Yer' a naughty one, you are! Tell me, how many have yeh been with this week? Seven?" The man laughed.

Paul gasped and his eyes slightly watered. "Maggie . . ."

"Paul, I can explain –"

Paul jumped out of his seat and yelled at her "Explain what? How well you cheat? I can't believe I ever thought I could have loved you! What more with you loving me?" Paul turned around to leave. "Oh, and you're paying the bill." And he left.

George stopped playing and jumped off the stage. Paul, wait! He ran after him.

Everyone who was once enjoying the vibes the band brought, the company of one another, fell silent. They stared at George, running out the door, and Maggie, sobbing while running to the other exit at the side of the place.

John and Ringo awkwardly stood on the stage.

"Um, I'm gonna go after them, if ya don't mind," John told Ringo, and Ringo nodded. Now that left him all alone and all the eyes now turned to him.

"Uh . . . don't worry, that was all part of the act . . . "Ringo managed an awkward laugh. " "Er, well, let me keep you entertained with some more drumming, eh?"

…. _  
_

"Paul, Macca! Please come back!"

Paul paid no attention to the cries and yells of his friends . . . or _were_ they really friends at all?

"Paul!" John grabbed him from the shoulder.

Paul jolted and turned around. "Leave me alone, you bastards!" He said through gritted teeth.

George looked like he was on the verge of crying himself. "We're so sorry, Paul. We didn't mean for it to be that bad, but she really was cheatin' on you, ya know. We were just trying to protect you."

Paul stared at George like he was crazy.

"Okay, fine. Maybe protect is the opposite of what we did. But we had been pestering you, telling you that we caught her red-handed in the Cavern! She was kissing, like, _three_ guys at the same time! _Three!_ Imagine that Paul . . . um, Paul?"

Paul was no longer crying. The streaks his tears created were nearly dried up already, and now he looked like he was . . . _giggling?!_

"Paul? Have yeh gone mad? We just ruined you're bloody date! What the hell is so funny?"

"Paul grabbed the two of them by their jackets. You'll see, fellas. You'll see."

Then, as soon as they were back in the restaurant, a light shone on _them_ and every single person in the room, including Ringo, Paul and Maggie, was laughing and pointing at them.

John and George, dumbfounded, were looking all around. They were _laughing_.

"But – wha – who the –" George stuttered.

"Oi, Macca! What the hell is everyone laughing about?"

Paul, still clutching his sides in laughter, replied back. "Don't you get it, Johnny boy? The joke's on _you! _This whole thing was staged!"

"B-b-but . . . how . . ."

"Well, you see," Maggie said, "I am _not_ a prostitute, mind you. Paul and I have actually been together for a _month_ already, without you knowing. Even when I was in the Cavern, kissing all those boys, that was staged. We told Pete to call in sick, so he could phone his friends and family to play as customers here. His family owns this place, actually. And Ringo?" She winked at him. "Why wouldn't he want to be in the joke?"

John kicked George. "This was your idea."

"I didn't know they would do this!" George kicked John back.

"You make assumptions too fast!"

"You're a douche, John!"

"You're a wimp!"

The bickering went on and on as Paul put his arms around Maggie and Ringo.

"Ah, friends," He told them. "The things you can do with them."

**The end! Did you like it? You weren't expecting that twist at the end, were you? Hahaha! Please review and tell me what you think of this!**


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